Yellow Submarine

Richard Furnstein: The Beatles decide to write some kid friendly music. One problem: children's music stinks and this is no exception. John and Paul seemed to know it: giving Ringo the responsibility to go to the barn and shoot the sick dog (sing lead vocals). George Martin did his best to cover up the corpse stink on the dreadful basic track, dumping lots of woooshing sounds, British jibberish, and klaps and flaps and torts. Sure, I've heard the stories of John running around the studio with a sanitary napkin on his head during the overdubs. Let's get serious, was there ever a Tuesday night when this raging alcoholic didn't have a maxi pad taped to his forehead?

The one true turd of Revolver and a repeat customer as well. We would be forced to repurchase this song on the Yellow Submarine soundtrack. It even made it to the top sellers album 1, because it was a double A-side with a string driven death ballad.

Robert Bunter: What a killjoy! As usual, you have missed the point. The delightful whimsy of “Yellow Submarine” was not aimed solely at little kids, that was just a side benefit. It was aimed at the childlike sensibility of an entire generation. Values of togetherness and love are evoked along with a welcome dose of playful absurdity. The Beatles’ consistently innovative use of recording studio technology are deployed in the service of a fun singalong instead of turgid, ponderous duds like “For No One” or “Tomorrow Never Knows.” Mindful of the past, yet looking toward the future. Beautiful!

Richard Furnstein: Here is the future: me skipping past this song on my compact discman or ignoring side one of Revolver completely. Whimsy can only carry you so far. This song gets as far as Ringo bleating out "in the toooooooooooown" before I'm running for the exits like a toasty night at the Beverly Hills Supper Club. You’ve been wrong before, Robert, but your defense of this song over “For No One” and “Tomorrow Never Knows” should land in front of an officially sanctioned Beatles crime judge at the next Beatles convention. I feel sorry for your ears and the part of your brain that controls your ears because they are clearly broken, Please delete my number from your phone. Please remove the ring tone that I made for you out of the flubbed bass run in Take 17 of “I’ll Get You.” You don’t deserve the beauty of this world or the next. Shame.

George Martin did his best to cover up the corpse stink on the dreadful basic track, dumping lots of woooshing sounds, British jibberish, and klaps and flaps and torts.

Robert Bunter: Ha! You fell for it again. Hey, your fly is down. Whoop! Made you look. Got your nose! It’s so easy to get your goat, you should hang a “free goat available” sign outside your home. OK, fun’s over. Let’s get down to business. “Yellow Submarine” is a drag, but you have to admit, the animated cartoon feature which it inspired was a truly joyful psychedelic romp. Also, the “Eleanor Rigby / Yellow Submarine” single is a fine example of the striking contrasts they deployed to such great effect (“Strawberry Fields” b/w “Penny Lane,” “Lady Madonna” b/w “The Inner Light.”) From the sublime to the ridiculous; fun for the kiddies, the dawning of a new growth. Beautiful!

Richard Furnstein: Boy, my face must be red! That's the oldest trick in the Beatlebook! Of course you are right and you were right. Who am I to get angry about anything Beatles related? See you tomorrow morning for rare record digging and heavy Mexican food. I love life! "Look at John, will ya!"

Robert Bunter: Well, I’ve won this round on points, I think. Score one for the ‘Bunt! That almost makes up for “Rocky Raccoon” and “Good Day Sunshine.”

Richard Furnstein: I'm still mad about those, actually...