Words Of Love

Richard Furnstein: "Words Of Love" is a cover of an innocuous yet revolutionary Buddy Holly song (surely the most innocuous yet revolutionary artist in music history). As a holdover from their time vibrating on sticky stages in bratwurst halls in Hamburg, it provides a handy key to the harmonic foundations of the group. Indeed, there's a gentle simple charm to how perfectly restrained the voices of Lennon/McCartney/Harrison are on the track as they simultaneously push their droning vocal lines (heeeeeeeeeeeear, truuuuuuuuuuuuuue). It's a light touch on the back and a drink of punch from a paper cup at the sock hop, so it's a genuine delight to imagine them delivering these angelic chords to methamphetamine-enhanced white power horndogs in a foreign land. You spilled some on your trousers, mate.

Robert Bunter: Well of course you're absolutely right, but the apparent simplicity and restraint actually conceal some characteristically inventive moves. The insistent eighth-note handclaps underlying almost the entire two minutes of the track's duration evoke the then-unheard texture of a scratched-up CD-R attempting to be read by your player, which strangely seem to line up with the beat regardless of the source material. The effect evokes the original version, which featured a similarly disorienting rhythmic figure caused by the primitive slapback echo on the acoustic guitar interacting with the understated mambo of Jerry Allison's horny tom-toms. The vocal harmonies (which the Beatles reproduced in full) eschew the luxurious stacked intervals of doo-wop in favor of low-register perfect fifths that give the impression of a chant or incantation. The overall mood is one of mature, adult serenity - more like a porcelain mug of espresso or a snifter of Grand Marnier than a paper cup of punch in my opinion. I hope I haven't been too confrontational here.

Richard Furnstein: Not at all, my dear old friend. I appreciate your frankness and am genuinely excited to talk about this song. It reminds me of so many late nights at Ramada Inns, discussing the hidden delights on Beatles For Sales with other attendees of the local Beatlefest. "Did you know that Ringo played a packing case on 'Words Of Love'?" "Of course I do! Is that like a wooden packing crate or just a common wooden box?" "Should we call my cousin? He lives outside of London and I'm sure he'd know. It's already 9:30 in the morning there!" Moments like this were like boldly opening a properly folded road atlas on the bonnet at the car park. A cuppa on the dash to fuel our adventures and a rucksack of crisps and sausage rolls in the boot. It almost didn't matter where our journeys would take us. We were just happy to engage in the sacred conversations of Beatle fandom, to solve the puzzles left for us by these faraway beings, to find a way to feel closer to our memories as the world around us became more certain. "There's A Place," indeed. And I feel a familiar tingle as we head there once again.

Robert Bunter: It's true, we had a lot of fun at BeatleFest. I get hungry just thinking about those sausage rolls. On the other hand, I get nauseated when I think about other humble British street foods like pie mash, jellied eels, smack barm pey wet, and Lancashire cockles. You have to eat some of those things really fast right out of the deep fryer or else in about five minutes you're going to have a greasy, inedible mess and you'll get fingerprints all over the picture sleeve of the Beatles For Sale (No. 2) EP that you just bought from Stan Panenka from his special under the counter box where he keeps the real goods.

Richard Furnstein: "Words Of Love" is a showcase for unique harmonies of the Beatles' singers. I've always thought Buddy Holly meant something unique to each of the boys. George always seemed inspired by the slashing open chords and leaned on some of the early rock simplicity in his pre-Rubber Soul offerings and frequently reverted to these tricks throughout his solo career. John loved that Buddy wore glasses and named his band as a nod to The Crickets. Paul tapped into the optimism of the lovelorn that defined so much of Buddy Holly's work. And lest we forget, Paul purchased the Buddy Holly song publishing catalog in the seventies. This resulted in the Denny Laine album Holly Days (produced by McCartney and a nice revenue stream for Paul after the ink was dry on the contract. Later, McCartney's business move inspired his friend Michael Jackson to buy out the Northern Songs catalog from Yoko Ono and McCartney, resulting in a lifetime of Beatles tunes used in unfortunate advertisements and a decrease in funds for the skinflint McCartney.

Robert Bunter: Maybe we're being too kind though. We can see the inclusion of "Words Of Love" on Beatles For Sale as a thoughtful homage to a primal formative influence, but it's no less true to label this track "exhibit A" in the case for this album as a slapdash, relatively uninspired cash-in. Robert Freeman's iconic cover portrait tells the story all too candidly. It's late '64, the boys are hungover and bone-tired after three straight years of nonstop running and screaming. The EMI honchos are howling for fresh product to feed the masses and nevermind if it's a greasy inedible pile of Devonshire craw urchins a few too many minutes out of the deep fryer. Trudge into the studio and crank out a few old chestnuts from the bar band days to pad out the tracklist, boys. I know we've covered this ground before, but in a better world they would have been given time and space to develop an LP's worth of the inspired acoustic folk rock that started side one off so promisingly ("No Reply," "I'm A Loser," "Baby's In Black"). Instead it's a bunch of goddamn shit like "Words Of Love."

Richard Furnstein: Crikey, you're right. This song is nothing more than a smear of HP Brown Sauce and some greasy scotch egg crumbles leaking through on the cafe grade paper plates. I want my five pence back, Doris. No hungry.

Sexy Sadie

Robert Bunter: The White Album is in large part about The Beatles themselves (as indicated by the record's actual title, which is The Beatles). Previous efforts certainly dealt with aspects of the group's real lives, leavened to a greater or lesser degree by poetic lyricism - "Taxman," "I'm Only Sleeping," "Fixing A Hole," even "Penny Lane" and "Strawberry Fields Forever." Still, the two LP's previous to this (Sgt. Pepper's and Magical Mystery Tour) both explored far-fetched alternate identities and messages of universal cosmic significance set in a colorful fantasy world populated by rocking-horse people and marshmallow pies. Now it's 1968 and all of a sudden we've got a stark view of these hairy men's real life backstage after the curtains fall. Plugged-in fans were startled to realize that these songs were about Paul's sheepdog, John's mom, Mia Farrow's sister, Eric Clapton's sweet tooth, and meanwhile Yoko's over here in the corner staring at me. The stripped-down production and minimalist greyscale cover text added to the dour mood. "Sexy Sadie," while graced with an utterly beguiling melody and emotionally affecting Lennon falsetto, remains at its core an airing of dirty, personal laundry.  

Richard Furnstein: Lennon is certainly more direct here than he was in the Technicolor swirl of the 1967 offerings. The stripped-down approach of the Esher Demos provided a dramatic shift from the Eggman filtration system of the psychedelic era. Break out the 120-grit and strip the careless swirls from your instruments. You were resplendent in that madcap frock, but the loose sand-colored hemp shirt and leather necklace suits you well in this new age. The change was welcomed by our beloved Walrus, as he produced his strongest and most unique batch of songs yet for The Beatles. You get the sense that John's songwriting explosion in Rishikesh was his attempt to refocus his creativity to become (if needed) a singular light for the group. All could drink and eat from his expanding mind and desperate claws. He found his muse in Yoko and finally had his fragile ego confirmed in a helicopter ride with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. To think, mankind was given the pure beauty of "Julia” (pay no mind to the creeping figures of Polythene Pam and Mr. Mustard) from fever dreams on a hard Indian cot. Take this brother, may it serve you well.  

 

Robert Bunter: That's a totally accurate description. I'm going to provide a bit of backstory at this point. The Beatles went off to India to study with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, a giggling guru preaching a Westernized, user-friendly form of spiritual meditation for dilettantes and businessmen looking for shortcuts. Typically, John was the most ardent convert of the four, sitting cross-legged in his little hut for hours a day in a fugue state which he later described as a mental breakdown. Of course, being John, that was just his idea of a great time - remember, he'd spent most of the previous two years paralyzed by nightmarish acid-fueled visions. But as hard as he fell for Maharishi's line, it was only a matter of time before the bloom was off the rose for John, who spent most of his too-short life flitting from one God-figure to another (Presley, McCartney, Dylan, Leary, Maharishi, Janov, Rubin), only to renounce them after they failed to deliver what he really needed, which was his parents' love (I left Ono off that list, because that's a more complicated deal). There is no fiercer critic than a former apostle stung by betrayal, and when John got word that Maharishi might not be as high-minded as his sermons had implied (despite vows of celibacy, he was apparently making it with various female students during private "advanced meditation sessions"), he decided to pack up his trunk and storm out. On the car ride back to the airport with George he began to compose a stinging song in his head called "Maharishi," which George persuaded him to re-title "Sexy Sadie."

 

Richard Furnstein: "Sexy Sadie" is a surprisingly tame lyrical put down from the prickly one in the Beatles. Consider the misogynistic and seething tone directed at lovers on Rubber Soul, the contempt directed at the idiotic common people of "Good Morning, Good Morning" nervously scattering the streets playing their miserable roles as workers, and the more pointed loathing featured in the darker rooms in the Imagine LP. It's clear in each of the songs that Lennon was filtering his own self-loathing into a sarcastic and often times cruel view of others. The transgressions of the Maharishi are dismissed as mere technicalities ("you broke the rules" and "how did you know?") and the punishment for his actions are vague and inconsequential ("you'll get yours yet"). It's a much softer view than the arson-as-revenge fantasy interpretation of "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)."

 

The "one sunny day the world was waiting for a lover" part is the only time that Lennon really reflects on his own insecurity and his never-ending search for a guru who can show him the light. This songwriting trick was first mined in Lennon’s first golden period, the soundtrack to A Hard Day’s Night. As you ably tracked, Lennon was an orphaned soul searching for parental approval. Lennon is uncharacteristically guarded when he reflects on his pull to the Maharishi and his teachings, summarizing the arrival of the guru into his shattered world as an inevitability. An upper on a sunny day, ensuring all were sufficiently turned on. Who could resist the pull of this force? Lennon suggests they were all playing fools. He clearly hasn't learned a damned thing. 

 

Robert Bunter: Well I'll tell you one thing he'd learned - how to use the basic building blocks of the primal/crucial 1950s rock and roll chord changes which had ignited his childhood to construct something menacing and strange enough to suit the dark and complex man he'd grown into by 1968. The most obvious example is the terrifying "Bang-bang, shoot-shoot" coda on "Happiness Is A Warm Gun," but harmonically, "Sexy Sadie" is cut from the same cloth as "I'm So Tired." In both cases the chord changes are close enough to evoke the familiar, comforting yearning of straight doo wop, but John adds interest and malice with descending chromatic movements. Have you ever listened to Ronettes 45s while under the influence of mind-altering drugs? Well, John probably did, and "Sexy Sadie" is probably what they sounded like. 

 

Richard Furnstein: It’s interesting that John seemed most comfortable when he could lean on this teddy boy origins and toss a few joker chords around a well-worn Spector skeleton. Maybe he wasn’t the towering genius with clouds in his eyes and a blueprint for eternal peace. Perhaps he was nothing more than a wiry fiend, knocking out piles of amazing songs in the lingering flatulence of his Rishikesh tent because he couldn’t just goof out on zonk pills and stare at a television. Of course, Beatles experts (like me!) will tell you he was somewhere between the two extremes. Those same experts will then play you a demo version of “Out The Blue” from the Mind Games album and tell you it’s a disgrace that the Lennon Trust hasn’t released every second of music that this Godhead has created. Seriously, that tune could be on the White Album, Bunter!

Robert Bunter: The only "Lennon Trust" that I recognize is my trust that you will inevitably bring the conversation back to that soggy Lennon solo offering. Of course it sounds like it could have been on the White Album, poor John was reworking the moves he stole from Donovan. I've had to listen to you babble about that sadsack blues sludge for decades now. Welcome back to the blog, dear readers. I'm already tired of talking to this guy. 

Real Love

Richard Furnstein: The second "new" Beatles song released along with the Anthology multimedia blitz in 1995, "Real Love" always seemed like the undercard to "Free As A Bird." "Real Love" had already been released as a skeletal guitar demo as part of the Imagine movie in 1988. I argue that the previously released demo was superior to the overcooked Threetles version (particularly with the film's aerial footage, as if John's ghost was gliding over his sprawling Tittenhurst Park estate). It retains some of the lyrical themes of the earlier version of the song as "Real Life" and includes a middle eight pilfered from "Isolation" from the Plastic Ono Band version. Was John even aware that he was ripping himself off when he recorded this demo? Or did he just toss off this gentle fragment of a song during a lull in the Mets game or as he was waiting for his poppy French bread to rise? I imagine he was aware of the connection to one of his great solo works, but didn't want to slow down his creative process by trying to work out new chords, melodies, and words. Lazy sod.

Robert Bunter: John was indeed a lazy man, but it's unfair to pass any judgement on posthumously-unearthed song fragments exploited by the surviving Beatles in order to have a fake "single" to release as a promo hype for their half-baked television mini-series. I'm sorry Richard but the whole thing reeks. Jeff Lynne's atrocious sub-Wilburys production is the audio equivalent of a puffy acid-washed denim jacket with a Beatles logo on it. Conceived in poor taste and out-of-date the moment it was released. Basically I just deny the existence of the Anthology videos and circa-'90s "Beatles songs." I can't think of any lower moment in the group's history, and yes I'm including Gone Troppo. I love John and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and complain about the texture of his mind-meat after the other three picked over the carcass for saleable scraps and pressed them into a half-baked platter. Ringo should be ashamed of himself. I'd expect this from the other two but not Ringo.

Richard Furnstein: Let's get real. The remaining Beatles had plenty of blood on their hands by the time of Anthology. Paul's war crimes in Give My Regards To Broad Street are well documented, including some brutal renditions of his most tender Beatles offerings. Ringo had been sucking out the sweet marrow from the Beatbones for 25 years. He scored early and often after the breakup, delivering sentimental favorites like the 1973 Ringo LP and the "Early 1970" b-side. At the time of Anthology, Ringo was leading his All Starr Band to tertiary markets to play Beatles favorites along with hits from his hired bandmates of soggy yokels. And dignified Ol' George? The man who couldn't wait to break free from the oppression of playing lead guitar in the greatest band of all time? He was the most shameless in mining the past to push singles for the second half of his solo career, including the notalgic "This Guitar (Can't Keep From Crying)," "When We Was Fab," and "All Those Years Ago." And, golly, Jeff Lynne built his entire career on Beatles grave robbing. Spring is a nice time to start at zero. To bring back moss, then flame. 

Where will we be in another twenty years, old friend? 

So, it was hardly a surprise that they would try to pull a stunt like the "Free As A Bird" and "Real Love" recordings. The surviving Beatles reasoned that John had "gone on holiday," leaving behind only a crumbling demo cassette tape with omnipresent humming and serious tempo issues. "Enjoy your vacation, John. We'll be here in Jeff Lynne's guest house trying to make this poorly recorded Double Fantasy outtake sound like a lost masterpiece from this hypothetical fantasy album that the world has been desperate to hear for 25 years. No pressure. I hope you have a cracker of a holiday. Yeah, right."

Robert Bunter: It's a nice tune though, if you put all that aside. Classic Lennon chord moves - unorthodox yet effortless and natural. Same with the lyrics. A little half-baked but he probably would have made some refinements if he'd lived to do so. Your vision of John tossing off the lo-fi demo between innings of a ballgame is a charming one. Considered in that context, "Real Love" sounds sweet. And who are we to put the other three down for what they did? Their friend died and they wanted to do something before the reaper took any more of them away. The Anthology debacle and "Threetles" single were the end result of a complicated process of personal and legal reconciliation, a tying up of ends that had been loosened and frayed since 1970. The presence of Jeff Lynne was a counter-balancing power move to buttress George against Paul's inevitable dominance. Ringo was just happy to be there. This song is a bruised artifact of a bunch of unglamorous realities, not an extension the sweet dream that was the Beatles original career. I'm sorry but these are the facts.


Richard Furnstein: I just watched the "Real Love" music video. At the time, the emotional pull was clearly the mash of Lennon archival footage in the clip. While the rest of the boys were goofing off in the studio (watch grumpy George ham it up!), Lennon was stuck in a loop of haunted memories from the sixties and seventies. A ghost silently walking through a meeting of old friends. However, the clip now highlights the sadness of the Threetles reunion. Look at those lovely 1995 portraits of Paul, George, and Ringo. They look so damned young. Paul is particularly youthful and charged; the Lovely Linda was still by his side. There was still endless honey in his throat and his hair was tousled and rich with life vitamins. The footage of a 1995 Ringo (in his uptight Los Angeles old rich guy look) playing the drums matches well with the classic studio footage clips in the video. He's still got it! Long-haired George is all smiles and trendy flannel. It's a delight to watch him squeeze out the playful guitar leads. The Beatles were still largely on this plane of existence; they just had to fly in John's ghostly vocal to complete the illusion. They were so close to being whole, to making us whole again. It's devastating to watch this. We've lost too much already. Where will we be in another twenty years, old friend?

Robert Bunter: Well of course we'll be sad because Paul and Ringo have died too, if we're even still alive by then. :‑(

When I Get Home

Cynthia Lennon: September 10, 1939-April 1, 2015

Richard Furnstein: We lost another one, dear friend. Cynthia Lennon is the latest guest speaker at that Great Beatles Convention In The Sky. Look at that all star panel on the stage: the peaceful John Lennon, the gregarious George Harrison, the noble Mal Evans, the solemn Billy Preston, the monkish Brian Epstein, the jubilant Maureen Starkey, and the emotional Derek Taylor. Golly, there are only a few empty chairs up there now.

Cynthia was always a sad figure in the story of the Beatles. She was a hidden and forgotten part of the Beatles; a too-old-for-her-years figure pining for a fractured man child who would never love or accept the responsibilities and normalcy that she represented. Her big moments speak to betrayal and mistreatment: being hidden from the screaming teenagers to encourage their fantasies of bedding John; bearing and raising the ignored Julian Lennon while her husband toured the world and slept with endless women: refusing the romantic advances of Magic Alex; missing that train to Bangor to meet both the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and Mike Love; and--the final indignity--walking in on John and Yoko together in her Kenwood home.

Robert Bunter: John Lennon was a goddamn asshole. I'm sorry but these are the facts. "Give Peace A Chance" notwithstanding, he was basically a selfish pig and nowhere is that stark reality more apparent than in the life of Cynthia Lennon. Practically the first thing she did after they met was to dye her hair blonde to look more like the sticky, creased portrait of Brigitte Bardot that John carried around in the pocket of his black drannies (drainpipe trousers, a stupid pants style favored by young British rockabilly jerkoffs in the '50s). The relationship quickly became physical, and selfish John cared only about his personal dick stimulation - no primitive UK sheepskin for this drunken Scouse greasepail! So inevitably she becomes pregnant and only then does John ask her to get married. Justice of the Peace or some shit and a drugged up Brian Epstein was the best man with some construction work happening outside (captured in one of Cynthia's great drawings). Oh yeah right Cynthia, it looks like your dreamboat has really docked this time. Get the hell out of here. Next thing you know he's famous and you've already said what happened after that. Oh, one more thing - he beat her.

Richard Furnstein: Exhibit Whatever: stink filler "When I Get Home" from the non-soundtrack side of A Hard Day's Night. In this song, a drunk and violent John finally comes home from a tour of rock n' roll clubs and other moist areas of Portugal. You can almost hear him barge into their lovely Kenwood house, drunk as a fire ant and full of fresh drip infection. Just listen to that primal scream in the introduction, it pretty much shouts out to be let into the damned-door-because-I-lost-my-keys-where-are-my-Buddy-Holly-records-where-is-the-Cutty-Sark-ferchrissake-Cyn. Sure, John has a lot of things to tell her when he gets home, but it's either drunken ramblings about Ringo's flatulence or the amphetamine selection in Lisbon. "Julian has a double ear infection? [Fart noise.] C'mere, I'm 'gonna love you til the cows come home.'" What a disgusting scene. It's all there on the record, Your Honor.

Cynthia wasn't a Jungian archetype, an Oedipal mother figure or a conniving shrew. She was a real person who the real John Lennon fell in love with before he became "John Lennon."

Robert Bunter: Ha, this is the second post in a row where you've talked about how smelly John Lennon was. We can only imagine what he smells like now. But let's back up for a moment and take an objective look at "When I Get Home." This is a pure rock and roll monster. Even by the standards of early Beatles stompers, this track is a revelation. I feel as though I'm hearing it for the first time. John, George and Paul use their trademark three-part harmony on the intense "WO-a-WO HAAAAA!!!!" intro while Ringo beats the shit of of his drums even more than usual and Paul plays a thunderous bassline that almost never strays from the primal root note of every chord. Then you've got John's lead vocal: one of the twentieth century's most compelling voices unleashes a brutal assault that is every bit as heavy as what he would later attempt on "Revolution" or "Cold Turkey." The fact that this was a third-to-last-song-on-side-two throwaway track on an LP filled with much more significant achievements is frankly mind-boggling.

Richard Furnstein: The band really conveys the excitement of a homecoming. Sure, it's got some awful bits (John's Italian-man vocal inflections early in the song, the line "no time for trivialities," and the clunky middle eight), but the the fire behind the vocals and Ringo's good nature enthusiasm are easy to love. Question for you, Robert: is this the most sentimental Cynthia-influenced song in the canon? The most apparent Cynthia references are largely negative or dismissive. John is bored out of skull with domestic life in "Good Morning Good Morning." "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" is more about Brian Epstein's homosexuality than his denial of his marriage in the early years. "Don't Let Me Down" features that cruel line about being in love for the first time with Yoko. I can't place any sweetheart songs about Cynthia. His early songs are mainly about weeping or coming up with revenge fantasies about the women who mistreated him.

Robert Bunter: I think that's kind of the point. Cynthia wasn't a Jungian archetype, an Oedipal mother figure or a conniving shrew. She was a real person who the real John Lennon fell in love with before he became "John Lennon." When John sang to Cynthia it wasn't from the stage of a baseball stadium or an AM radio speaker. The tender whispers of a young couple before turning out the light; the desperate scribbled vulnerability of letters mailed home from some dank provincial beer hall; the simple touch in a solitary moment or the knowing smile across a crowded room - these were the songs John sang to Cynthia Lennon. As John came to mean more and more to the world at large, perhaps he lost touch with this. He turned himself inside out for all the world to see and we stood in stunned admiration at the candid beauty of his exposed soul and thanked him for the gift. But before he was ours, he was hers. The nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land making all his nowhere plans for nobody while his flesh-and-blood wife and son waited patiently for him to come out of the goddamn TV room and say something to them for a change. Let us consider with humble gratitude that Cynthia was able to emerge from her troubled relationship with John and build a long and happy life for herself, and bid her beautiful spirit a fond farewell. We never really knew her, and that is as it should be.

Chains

Richard Furnstein: Listen, we can't move ahead with our scheduled post: a tepid run down of the Gerry Goffin/Carole King song "Chains" from Please Please Me. I'm sorry, I know there is a strict schedule to these posts, developed through extensive research into maximizing the viral marketing potential of this blog. I also know that we could go on for hours about the Beatboys' rendition of that classic Cookies track. Sometimes you have to say "bugger the system" and push forward for what is right. It's time that we told our devoted readers about the Yoko Ono/John Lennon Two Virgins album. Sure, you've probably heard about the album--and the controversial body explorations of the front and back sleeves--but never dug into the hairy and uncircumsized music contained on this release. I'm sure you get the general idea: prototypical junkie bedroom explorations, including rudimentary freakout guitar tracks, crumbling barroom piano, guttural whispers, sparse snippets of Lennon's tense and mocking conversational tones, and denatured organ play. Remind you of a little of "Revolution 9"? Well, by golly, it should! While "Revolution 9" used a complex and terrifying mesh of source material to soundtrack the madness of Beatle/human life in 1968, Two Virgins is a more intimate affair documenting the start of a love affair between two married people. The revolution inside.  Yoko and John circle each other in a junkie mating dance; the old push-and-pull in a white bedroom. Unfolding wings and encircling prey. Yoko pushes the frantic fly range of her instrument while John tries on some new stuffy British businessman voices. It's positively titillating!

Robert Bunter: For readers who may not be up on the story so far: it’s 1968 and John is a wreck. Japanese avant-garde artist Yoko Ono has been on the periphery of his scene for quite a while, and they corresponded by mail while he was over in India meditating with the Maharishi. One day he takes a bunch of drugs at home with his longtime buddy Pete Shotton (his wife and young son were presumably elsewhere). According to Shotton, John started uncontrollably rotating his arms in a slow dual propeller motion while alternating between hideous laughter and uncontrollable sobbing. Every time Pete asked him what was wrong, he denied that there was any problem, which must have been unintentionally hilarious. Finally, he came to the realization that he was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. That seemed to calm him down and he spent the rest of the night babbling about it. The next day, surprisingly, he was still on the same track. He called an emergency Beatle meeting at Apple (highly uncharacteristic for John) and told the rest of the boys the news. They reacted with cartoonish, exaggerated “Oh wow, look at the time!” gestures while pointing at their watches and hastily exiting the meeting room for some lunch. By now he was pretty despondent, on a heavy bummer. He decides to invite Yoko over that night. They take more drugs and stay up all night playing with his tape recorders and primitive sound manipulation equipment – creaky Mellotron, vintage Binson tape-delay Echoplex unit, microphones with curly telephone-style cords attached, a radio and a couple record players. When the sun came up, they made love. Those tapes became the “Two Virgins” LP.

It certainly doesn't smell like a rich person's house in here!

Richard Furnstein: Of course, you're right. Here's the big question: is there more to this album than the story of two married weirdos falling in love? We've all heard stories about how couples first got together. Typical relationship origins stories are more about three dollar you-call-its at a dank bar or meeting that special someone in a co-worker's depressing kitchen than Echoplexplorations fueled by high grade heroin. These stories are nothing more than ice breakers at awkward dinner parties. Sure, this union had a tremendous impact on Lennon's creative output and the group's increasingly splintered identity, but do we really need this memento of this landmark event? Is this just an excuse to stare at the deflated genitals of famous people? What the hell am I doing listening to this, Bunter? Help me out.

Robert Bunter: Well, I think it was Lennon’s way of childishly thumbing his nose at the world. He regarded the general public with barely-concealed contempt, despite his popular image as a peaceful dreamer. The product of a childhood shattered by parental abandonment and a young adulthood filled with screaming lunatics, worshipful adulation and powerful drugs, circa-’68 Lennon was like a screeching monkey in a gilded cage, exposing himself and violently slinging excrement at the terrified masses. Taking up with Yoko and releasing an album with a shocking sleeve and incomprehensible contents was his attempt to express the nauseous revulsion he felt for his audience. He tried to offer a lot of different rationalizations for this ugly side of himself – it was variously passed off as highbrow avant-garde art (Two Virgins), primal psychiatric therapy (Plastic Ono Band), raw hairy rock (Live Peace In Toronto, “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)”), political activism (“Give Peace A Chance” and the Bed-Ins), personal journalism (“Ballad Of John & Yoko”) or radical revolutionary rabble-rousing (Some Time In New York City) – but underneath it all you’ve got the stinky tantrums of a messed-up baby crying for attention. A long-haired, bearded feral baby with a huge ego, millions of dollars, piles of drugs and the attention of the entire world.

Richard Furnstein: It's the ultimate desperate play for attention. This junkie shell invites the world in to sift through the audio reminders of his first date with Ono. There's no way you would turn away an invitation for an intimate view of a millionaire genius. Once inside, however, you get a better understanding of the sadness in Lennon's life. The tape plays much more than just the audio-fartistry. The stink of the session wafts out of the speakers: stale incense, body odor, rotting fruit, and hashish laced cigarettes. It certainly doesn't smell like a rich person's house in here! The paper bag texture of the outer sleeve doesn't just hide the scandalous cover photo, it serves as a mocking reminder that this impossible album is a commodity. Nothing more than a can of fruit cocktail or some mousetraps from the corner store. Use once and destroy. The outer shell mocks the consumer from the record shelf. Enjoy the tuneless whistling, warped piano fondlings,and overexposed celebrity genitalia, Beatlemaniac. Is this what you wanted?

Robert Bunter: I need a sick bag. I'm going to be sick.

Every Little Thing

Robert Bunter: This song (from 1964’s Beatles For Sale LP) sits solidly among the late early period (or the early middle period). The acoustic textures, chiming 12-string guitars and harmonic maturity point the way ahead to Help! and Rubber Soul, but the simplistic boy-girl lyrics seem to be a relic of an earlier time. This is one of those songs where I can’t quite tell who was the primary songwriter, and I’m not going to cheat by looking it up. John and Paul blend their voices in practiced unison on the verses, although Lennon seems to dominate. In the chorus it’s the opposite, with Paul’s high harmony in the foreground. The absence of barbed lyrical wordplay and edgy expressions of hurt and anger lead me to believe it was Paul. What do you think Richard? Am I right?

Richard Furnstein: You are deep in the groove in this one, old friend. It was written by Paul but sung by John. This bit of rock and roll masquerade fits nicely next to Ringo's "Honey Don't" on Beatles For Sale; the Carl Perkins song used to be sung by John back in the rock and roll toilet days. I hear "Every Little Thing" as the last Beatles tribute to the American girl group sound that dominated the first two albums. That's why I think Lennon is the perfect lead on this track; he absolutely captured the angst and fury of the girl groups in their early repertoire. "Every Little Thing" is definitely one of those minor but pleasant transition numbers for the group. Imagine "Every Little Thing," "You Like Me Too Much," "It's Only Love," and "Tell Me What You See" comprising an extended play in early 1965. These songs find the band stretching out ever so slightly. They just lack the inspiration and pharmaceuticals to blast off to the next level.

Throw a Lennon wheezing harmonica over the instrumental breaks and I'd be in heaven!

Robert Bunter: I will imagine it. [pause] Wow! What a terrific EP! The prospect of hypothetical should-have-been Beatle records from this period is intoxicating. Of course, they did what they did and it stands perfectly as it is, but if they’d taken just a few different steps, we might have had even more and better discs to cherish. How about this scenario: John explores his nascent interest in downhearted Dylan-influenced folk rock on a solo LP. Meanwhile, the boring ‘50s rock and roll crap on Beatles For Sale gets shunted off to an EP, to accompany the early ’65 just-starting-to-spread-their-wings EP you described above. So where does that leave Beatles For Sale? I’ll tell you where: with another dozen bracing, innovative rockers like “I Feel Fine” (released alongside Beatles For Sale as a standalone single backed with “She’s A Woman.”) Here are the titles: “Without Love,” “Think About It,” “Take A Number,” “You’ll Always Know,” “After Someone,” “Call To Her,” “Until Another Time,” “Suit Yourself,” “Your Love Is Still Here,” “Look Out My Door,” “Every Letter” and an uninspired 12-bar-blues instrumental called “Squeaky.” Beatles For Sale? I’M BUYING.

Richard Furnstein: What a pants-shifter of a dream, my dear pal. Your album of mid-period mediocrity would have surely been a huge hit with the power pop universe of grown men in ill fitting dungarees singing vague songs about teenagers in love. Imagine if Matthew Sweet or the jugband cretins in Brinsley Schwarz grabbed hold of another cache of indifferent 1964 Beatles songs. It's easy to think about the "what if" scenarios in the Beatles For Sale/Help! era as the exhausted band was trying to find the next big thing while legions of Americans with shaggy haircuts and Rickenbackers were approaching their throne. Beatles For Sale is a little unsettling because the band isn't quite sure how to set themselves apart, both in terms of songwriting and the sonic touches. The mopey-Lennon-does-Dylan direction has promise but little box office appeal. Beatles For Sale was definitely rushed for Christmas delivery, so even the production innovations and mood swings from A Hard Day's Night are largely absent. "Every Little Thing" has more of a spark than most of the songs on this set, but it suffers from a drag on the verses, dopey lyrics, and stale 12 string touches. I'd love to hear a version of this with a bit more of the With The Beatles amphetamine flexing. Criminy, throw a Lennon wheezing harmonica over the instrumental breaks and I'd be in heaven!

Robert Bunter: Yeah, but these are all just so many pennywhistles and monkeydreams. Let’s keep our feet on the ground in the real world and deal squarely with the plain facts: Beatles For Sale served up a relatively lean meal and left listeners wishing for more. It’s a nice album to discover tucked in the back of the cupboard after you’ve gorged yourself sick on the more immediately appealing platters, but when push comes to shove you’re left sitting there with an empty bowl and some crumbs stuck on your face.

Richard Furnstein: Welcome to my lifestyle, mon frere.

Teddy Boy

Richard Furnstein: Paul McCartney's songbook is full of sketches of the daily lives of simple folk. "Teddy Boy" fits well with better known songs such as "Eleanor Rigby," "Penny Lane," "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," "Lady Madonna," and "She's Leaving Home." They all provide a portrait of the quiet moments of common people. The subjects of these songs flutter about like impatient extras on a movie set: a middle aged man pours his morning coffee as a baby babbles in a playpen. A young woman runs to catch the morning trolley while tugging at her sagging pantyhose. A shadow lingers over these portraits, often in the form of death, loneliness, or shattered dreams. The Let It Be outtake "Teddy Boy" brings all three to the table as a widow and a child try to support each other in the changes following the death of a "solider dad." It's a vague story but the essential emotional cues are there: a child hugs his mother as she cries over a solider's photo. Paul can hardly narrate this touching scene, offering platitudes such as "oh my" or "oh no." You created this world of misery, man. Help these people out.

Robert Bunter: It seems to have been a default mode for him. When Paul sat down and picked up a guitar and let the ideas flow naturally, a seemingly infinite stream of strong melodic hooks and third-person Everyman portraits bubbled to the surface. “Teddy Boy” illustrates this particularly well, as it never developed past the fragmented rough-draft stage. Even the “completed” version that appeared on his debut solo LP McCartney sounds like little more than a sketch. It’s catchy enough, and the darker undertones you describe add a bit of depth, but few would rank this among his highest achievements. It doesn’t even shine very brightly alongside similar, roughly contemporary Macca throwaways like “Junk” or “Her Majesty.” Every time I buy another Get Back sessions bootleg or outtakes compilation and see “Teddy Boy” on the tracklist, I have to suppress a faint groan of disappointment.

Richard Furnstein: At least you try to hide your disappointment in this song. You can actually hear Lennon's deride"Teddy Boy" in the band's aimless Get Back recordings. His distaste surfaced in the form of  jokey voices, rambling asides, and square dance instructions during the song's protracted coda. You can almost feel the cold air and ambivalent vibrations of Twickenham Film Studios come through your speakers when you listen to this song. To be fair, Lennon was pulling this too cool for school routine on all of Paul and George's offerings during this period. It's just that he was actually right this one time.

"Teddy Boy" is much more successful on the McCartney album. It's still not much of a song, but the arrangement is tightened up significantly. To be fair there are probably 1.5 fully realized compositions on Paul's debut and it's still one of the best things he ever recorded. The recording offers many of the charms of the album: muffled drum tracks, light echo box tricks, the warm ambiance of the McCartney living room, and off-kilter Linda harmonies. The small touches such as the gorgeous "ooooooohs" at 2:02 and the fluttering ending really make the recording. I wish Paul, Linda, and Martha the sheepdog were still in that living room, pumping out lo-fi  delights on a dusty Studer tape machine. Stick around for dinner, there's a vegetable barley soup on the stove and Linda is making her famous yeast crepes. We'll listen to some old tapes together.

Robert Bunter: Yeah, it’s a lovely image. Too bad the McCartney album and its trappings of domestic contentment (warm, homespun songs about family and love accompanied by charming snapshots of Papa Paul chopping down trees, holding babies and picking his nose) is one big lie. Here’s the real facts: John quit the Beatles but everybody convinced him to keep quiet about it because they were in the process of a massive renegotiation with the record company and didn't want to upset the applecart (that’s my little joke). Paul is an emotional wreck and retreats to his Scottish farmhouse where he grows a beard and drifts slowly toward a full-scale Brian Wilson-style breakdown. Stops wearing belts. Vodka for breakfast, sacked out in bed all day, showers optional. Very optional. A reporter from LIFE magazine shows up and Paul screams in his face and throws his camera at him. The fans have started to speculate about whether he’s dead. One can only imagine what newlywed Linda thought of the situation. She had climbed aboard the Paul train just in time to see it run completely off its rails. Drunken sadness and paralyzing numbness gradually coalesce into fury. They can’t do this to me! So in an undisguised power play he cobbles together McCartney on primitive home recording equipment (by today’s standards, anyway – in 1970 it was state-of-the-art) and releases it along with a self-interview press release to tell the world that he’s quit the Beatles and doesn't care about them anymore. Against this backdrop, the Happy-Family-Man-Strumming-His-Guitar-By-The-Evening-Fire vibe that the album and its packaging attempted to convey ring chillingly hollow. You can build up sweet mental fantasies about tape recorders and yeast crepes, Richard, but the reality was considerably more hairy, smelly and toxic. I’m not here to sugarcoat the facts.

You can build up sweet mental fantasies about tape recorders and yeast crepes, but the reality was considerably more hairy, smelly and toxic.

Richard Furnstein: Paul's retreat to his country compound was part of a greater social trend at the end of the sultry sixties. The unwashed legions were retreating to the mountains--a new farm movement featuring malnourished children, diseased livestock, and bog-like conditions in the fields. Neil Young captured the simple pleasures of this movement on "Here We Are In The Years" from his 1969 debut album: "Go to the country, take the dog/Look at the sky without the smog/Look at the world laugh at the farmers feeding hogs/Eat hot dogs." Paul wasn't as dim witted or charming in his appraisal of country life. He just reverted further into the familiar comforts of mama-based blues and ballads built for wide open spaces. Want to play some mason jars and record it for the album? Great, we'll call it "Glasses." How about an audio hunt track to really "get back" to the origins of man? Here's four plus minutes of "Kreen-Akore." There were no expectations. John wasn't leering at him when he introduced some bone-headed blues like "Oo You." He didn't have to worry about George's sour puss appearing in the gatefold. Ringo didn't have to be bored during the sparse "Every Night." That's the charm of the McCartney album. It's beautiful and it's nothing at all.

Robert Bunter: Back to the land? Sure, it’s wonderful that Paul could crawl into a filthy swamp and record a strangely beautiful solo album. But we’re supposed to be talking about “Teddy Boy.” It wasn’t a very good song and it came out of a particularly low point in Paul’s life. The outtake/bootleg versions of the Beatles attempting it are hard to listen to. It sits more comfortably among the half-baked platters and weird experiments of McCartney or the dismal vibe of the aborted Glyn Johns Get Back LP. Look Richard, I’m sorry but this whole discussion of yeast pancakes, stinky groat clusters, hot dogs, body odor, vodka, sheepdogs, sagging pantyhose and rotten Apples is making me nauseous. Let us have a little mercy and draw the soiled curtain of dismissal over this sordid chapter in Beatles history, shall we? Do you have any final thoughts?

Richard Furnstein: Yeah, hold on. Urp. No, that's better. I'm good.

I Wanna Be Your Man

Richard Furnstein: "I Wanna Be Your Man" is a sub-ape of a song with few redeeming qualities. It's a simple Ringo shouter in the vein of "Boys" and "Matchbox." The primal bashing and overworked cymbals can't make up for it's lack of depth and sonic shortcomings. The Lennon/McCartney composition was originally released by The Rolling Stones as their second single. It sure was nice of John and Paul to offer those illiterate hairdos some scraps as they were finishing another songwriting genius buffet. "Oh, you lippy chaps are hungry for some material? Why, have this throwaway tune that we were going to give to our tone deaf, childlike drummer." I guess Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were scared of being left behind in the new age of original rock compositions because they gratefully scarfed up that lean meal.

John and Paul later disagreed on the origins of the tune. Paul claimed that they worked it up from a Paul snippet with the purpose of providing a song for Ringo to sing on the second Beatles album. The song was the provided to The Rolling Stones when they requested a Lennon/McCartney composition to release as a single. John claims that "I Wanna Be Your Man" was written in front of the Stones. Imagine the look of humiliation on Mick's face when John and Paul were squeezing out this one in five minutes. "Wanna learn how to write songs? GRUNT, SPLASH, FLUSH." This is a better story and it seems like a classic Lennon ego trip. As a result, I'm more inclined to believe Paul's tale.

Robert Bunter: Yeah, Lennon was often inclined to embellish his memories so as to cast himself and The Beatles in a more flattering light. Furthermore, he seems to have had a real chip on his shoulder about the way The Rolling Stones were cleverly marketed by funnily-named Svengali Andrew Loog Oldham as the raw, bad-boy alternative to the squeaky-clean Beatles. The public image of the Beatles was drinking tea in genteel train cars with grandfathers and warbling “Til There Was You,” while the ‘Stones were getting arrested for urinating on gas station pumps when the attendant wouldn’t let them use the facilities. John resented manager Brian Epstein’s attempt to clean up The Beatles’ raucous leather jacket and hair grease image with collarless suits and bouncy smiles, and there were multiple times through the years where John took the opportunity to damn the Stones with faint praise, or even slag them off outright, as in the infamous 1971 Jann Wenner confessional. I’m not going to repeat what he said about Jagger’s dancing here because it was so mean. Paul was not above the same shenanigans. I seem to recall reading about a special listening party organized by The Rolling Stones to debut their latest release before an intimate crowd of beautiful rich hippie socialites and music industry cognoscenti. Of course, Paul comes walking in with an acetate of The Beatles’ latest single and he just happens to slip it to the paisley-eyed dandy who was operating the DJ station. “Oh, here’s our latest, maybe give it a spin and see what you think, wot?” and it was all seven minutes and eleven seconds of “Hey Jude.” We can only imagine how sour Mick’s roast mutton platter tasted after THAT humiliation. He sulked and pouted but no one could tell because who can tell if Mick Jagger is pouting? Meanwhile, Brian Jones went right home and almost drowned in his swimming pool. I’m sorry but these are the specific true facts.

Richard Furnstein: The Stones really did an excellent job on "I Wanna Be Your Man." It's got a great runaway motor take on the familiar Chuck Berry putt-putt. Brian Jones sounds very much alive on this track, harnessing some harrowing voodoo visions from his slide guitar. Mick Jagger's got a great rough presence on this. He may be pretty, but he's all man. Charlie Watts is reliable and steady in the back as usual. I imagine he smiled once during the recording and the rest of the Stones were relieved to see their elderly friend have some loose boogie fun. "Lookie Watts, e's 'alving a lark!" Bill Wyman sits back in the mix and just paddles swamp water everywhere. Sure, the guy was a Grade A dirtbag IRL, but he sure knew how to have fun on stage. Five stars. They totally make up for the crash and clamor of The Beatles' version.

Robert Bunter: Yeah, when you think about it, it’s funny that the Beatles had this muscular helping of Bo Diddley garage punk earmarked for droopy, short Ringo. He was the Beatles’ obligatory man-child, the template for every subsequent boy-band aimed at the screaming pre-teen demographic. These eleven-year-olds need a Davy Jones or a Joey McIntyre on which to focus the nascent storm of primal energy aroused by the driving rhythms and sweet sugar melodies without the threatening manic patter of a Mickey Dolenz or the broody, simian sulk of a Danny Wood. The more obvious physical appeal of dominant John, matinee idol Paul and sullen George were too frightening; Ringo presented the safe alternative of the runt. He was a full two feet shorter than the other Beatles and his droopy facial features and enormous nose suggested nothing so much as a damp, castrated Saint Bernard. The surging confidence of “I Wanna Be Your Man” would have worn poorly on any of the other three. Ringo was able to deliver the lyric like a cute kid reciting the lurid lyrics to  his favorite song on YouTube. How funny that in real life, he was guzzling Scotch and shaving four times daily just to beat back the beard.

Brian Jones went right home and almost drowned in his swimming pool. I’m sorry but these are the specific true facts.

Richard Furnstein: You can definitely see why The Beatles were determined to showcase their precious little sideshow attraction. You have to give the people a show: a little song, a little dance, and a little humor. Ringo was a flawed goofball there to lighten the mood. Even the name Ringo appeals to children while giving something for the older generation to lampoon. Listen to the broadcasters on The Beatles Live At The BBC collections treat him like a child. It's like Bring Your Ringo To Work Day. Sit in the corner and don't make too much noise, Young Richard.

Robert Bunter: He was game. Ringo went along with the program and played the fool. The Ringo showcase slot would remain a charming feature on almost every subsequent Beatle record. The high point was “With A Little Help From My Friends” on Sgt. Pepper, a fine song in its own right and a perfect complement for the hapless drummer’s irresistible charm. The nadir, of course, was “Yellow Submarine,” which stinks up the otherwise sublime Revolver LP with his tuneless ode to an improbable contraption and the worst sound effects since Mel Blanc tripped on a duck and fell into a pile of bicycle horns. Honk honk! “I Wanna Be Your Man” is a bad deal and just barely warrants its inclusion in the Beatles’ catalog. No doubt it will be included in some future irreverent “Worst Of The Beatles” bootleg, along with “All Together Now,” “Don’t Pass Me By” and “Meat City (original 1966 demo).”

Richard Furnstein: Lo! I would still cherish that turd vessel and file it gently next to my copies of Press, Ringo's Rotogravure, and the John Lennon acoustic collection that has him playing a stupid Ovation Guitar on the cover.

All My Loving

Robert Bunter: To this day, I can't tell the story without getting emotional. Furnstein and I went to the Paul McCartney concert together. He opened the set with some Wings stuff, to build the tension ("Venus And Mars / Rock Show" into "Jet"), then launched into "All My Loving." The video screen lit up with iconic black and white footage of screaming girls and the smiling young Beatles. In an instant, every one of the thousands in attendance had the exact same thought: "Mother of God, that is really him. He's from the Beatles and HE'S RIGHT HERE WITH ME NOW." It was like getting punched in the soul. Tears rolled down my face and I was far from the only one. It was a cheap showbiz trick, in a way; the kind of contrived, premeditated dazzlement that has long been Paul's primary approach (in stark contrast to Lennon's raw, in-the-moment inspiration). But how else could he have handled it? That moment needed to happen and Paul deployed it with the confident touch of a master. "All My Loving" was the perfect song choice. It stands tall among the very best of their earlier work, yet it never really garnered the reputation as a cultural milestone assigned to "I Want To Hold Your Hand" and "She Loves You." It almost managed to feel like an obscure album cut, even though it was probably the first Beatles song most Americans ever heard.

Richard Furnstein: What a great moment in our lives together as Beatles fans and friends. I wish I scooped up one of your careless tears and captured the shimmering drop in clear perspex: a testament to the power of time, love, and memory. What a feeling! I wanted to stomp my feet on the ground like those reckless teenaged girls in grainy black and white clips, but I was worried about crushing my nacho tray purchased before the show.

I always considered it a bold choice to kick off their first Ed Sullivan appearance with "All My Loving." It's a cracker to be sure, but it's a Paul song in an era where John was clearly being presented as the closest thing to a front man of the group. John, the group's primary songwriter during that period and the throat shredder who lead most of their songs, stood tall in the center of the pack: legs boldly parted as he strummed his custom Jet Glo Rickenbacker, smacking bubblegum, and his pointy nose acting as a divining rod to the teenaged American moistness ahead.. Paul was merely the side attraction during this era: the loose balloon-eyed, soft cheeked romancer who didn't even warrant his own microphone. Yet, there he was, leading the charge of The Beatles into foreign shores. "All My Loving" was the perfect choice. It's essentially a sequel to previous triumphs, building on the letter within a song format of "P.S. I Love You" and "From Me To You." This conceit managed to touch on both the innocence of young love and the hopeful correspondence of lovers in the previous wartime generation. "All My Loving" also suggests the day after the initial fumblings detailed in "I Want To Hold Your Hand." Nighttime was the right time. Now we have to figure out where we stand, babe.

Paul was merely the side attraction during this era: the loose balloon-eyed, soft cheeked romancer who didn't even warrant his own microphone.

Robert Bunter: The surging chord progression and irresistible triplet rhythm make the song throb with tumescent, propulsive inevitability. The genteel, politely romantic sentiments of Paul’s epistle are belied by the jackhammer pant-grind of the music track. The mental image is a young man seated at a constrictive desk composing a letter to his beloved in cursive script with a quill pen, but meanwhile he is bouncing up and down violently and pawing uncontrollably at himself with the other hand. His hair is disheveled and his face glistens with sweat. His eyes betray the brittle intensity of a madman. More ape than human, he nearly knocks over the inkwell as he stumbles around looking for envelopes and a book of stamps. The demented, hollering 13-year-olds who dampened the seats of every concert hall the Beatles ever played understood that rhythm in their bones. The four young men on the TV screen were wearing fresh-pressed tailored suits and had their hair washed squeaky-clean, but that was just a subterfuge to sneak the primal sex rhythm onto the staid airwaves of a repressed nation. The children understood.

Richard Furnstein: Paul was seen as the romantic of the band, but there's a sleazy quality to the lyrics that suggests that the heart and groin can't quite meet up. "I'll pretend that I'm kissing the lips that I'm missing." Love the one you're with, indeed. Imagine Paul sending that dedication out to his girlfriend from a pungent, tossed Manhattan hotel room. A cigarette dangles from his chapped bottom lip as he dampens the envelope on the cream colored top sheet. "Fly away little bird" he says as he slides the letter to grotesque errand boy Mal Evans at the hotel restaurant. Then it's a quick adjustment of his trousers as he heads out into the brisk February night. It's a disgusting cycle, but we're all just animals. The Ouroboros can't eat itself forever.

Robert Bunter: Ew gross. How about the U.S. stereo mix on this one? Right channel is all vocals, left is all music! Isolate the right channel and you can really pick out some fascinating details, like Paul’s huffing for breath at 1:52. Meanwhile on the left channel, I think Paul hits a wrong note on his little bass at 1:19. That bass line is nuts … as Carol Kaye said in that Beach Boys documentary, “That’s a JAZZ FEEL, man!” George takes the guitar to some nice places on his little solo segment. Speaking of “solo segments,” you’ve got Paul’s voice double-tracked in unison on the first two verses, then in harmony later. Why didn’t John or George jump in there? I’ll tell you why: because Paul cut the damn track perfectly. It didn’t need any other voices on that lead, and the others were cool enough to recognize that and not make a big fuss about it.

Richard Furnstein: "How about the U.S. stereo mix on this one?" Did you honestly ask me that question? Put that mix in the garbage can with the rotting banana peels and used adhesive bandages. It's not even on my radar, man. You know my original issue Parlophone mono is one of my prized possessions. Do I look like some stupid slack jawed teen buying Meet The Beatles! at a Woolworth's in Baraboo, Wisconsin? "All My Loving" as a side closer? No thank you, sir. Please get yourself the hell out of here already. There's the door, you monster.

Robert Bunter: Ha! Great! Terrific!

Honey Pie

Richard Furnstein: Oof. Get a load of this shiny turd bouncing around with a top hat and cane. How did Paul McCartney find the nerve to unleash this stench in the hallowed halls of Abbey Road? At best, he should have dropped this stinker in the comfort of his own home, never to be revealed to the world. Close the lid, flush, and walk away. "Honey Pie" should be nothing more than a scratchy demo created on his Brunnell tape deck: a holy grail for the many McCartney Cold Cuts devotees. As it stands, The Beatles should have provided a barf bag with The White Album instead of that collage poster. At least then unsuspecting rock and roll fans would have someplace to deposit their chunky mouth waste after hearing this awful song. I mean, COME ON.

Robert Bunter: Listen more deeply, friend. “Honey Pie” is indeed the third installment of what was to become a long line of McCartney’s affectionate tributes to the prewar music hall supper-club standards that he so admired (“When I’m 64,” “Your Mother Should Know,” and certainly many more in the solo years – a process that culminated in 2013’s geriatric Kisses On The Bottom standards album, a brilliant late-career masterpiece which will one day receive the same critical re-evaluation that belatedly dawned on McCartney II and Wild Life). You would be correct to turn up your nose at Paulie’s smirking, saccharine platter (or at least as correct as you are about anything else to do with McCartney, which is hardly at all). “Honey Pie” is elevated by its context. Alongside the sour, dark and frightening moods of much of the accompanying material, Paul’s soft-shoe shuffle seems less like a carefree romp through a rose-colored yesteryear and more like a grown man wearing a tiny little boy’s sailor suit and holding a balloon and lollipop on the outskirts of some nightmarish construction site where three other men are grimly setting about the business of tearing down your fondest illusions with poisonous tools and jagged vehicles. The man-child hugs his balloon tightly to his chest and closes his eyes. His face is covered with stubble and the sailor suit needs washing. He hums a happy little song to himself and tries to ignore the stench of death but it creeps in. Listen to that chord on the word “crazy.” This song is every bit as heavy as “Glass Onion” or “Revolution 9” for them that have ears to hear. Listen … listen.

Richard Furnstein: Sure, this malformed batch of rock candy makes some sense sitting next to the sleaze boogies of "Revolution 1" and "Savoy Truffle." We have George Martin to thank for his wise sequencing choices for The Beatles.* Indeed, The White Album may be his greatest track listing accomplishment.

Okay, let's find something to like about this track. George Martin's arrangement connects the rooty-tooty tin pan alley sound with black and white movie schmaltz. The clarinets make the song. Paul does a great Ringo impersonation with his delivery of the line "in the U.S.A." In fact, I always hope that it is Ringo, straw boater clutched to his chest as he passionately delivers that lyric. I was shocked to read that John even bothered to play anything on this cloud of granny flatulence, but there he is poking out that jolly guitar solo. It truly was a team effort to make something this rotten. The Beatles didn't polish the turd, they just wiped a tea towel over it and got human waste all over their hands. Wash up, boys.

Robert Bunter: If you’re willing to acknowledge that the song makes some sense in context, I’ll meet you halfway and admit that there are some cringe-worthy moments. Paul’s falsetto warbling of “oooh … hah … I like this kinda hot kinda music, hot kinda music, play it to me, play it to me honey with blues” is really goony, and you can just tell that he thinks he’s kidding around, but you know deep down that he meant it. Let’s face it, this kind of music is at the primal core of McCartney’s soul. When you hear Paul slip into that debonair crooner mode (from “Besame Mucho” on the Beatles’ earliest crude EMI demo acetates to the aforementioned recent Kisses On The Bottom digital download disc file), you’re really listening to the deepest soul of the man. He can’t help it, and it’s beautiful.

Richard Furnstein: It's true. The gentle shuffle and swing of the music hall was in young James Paul McCartney's bloodstream. His father Jim was a trumpet player and pianist in Jim Mac's Jazz Band in the careless twenties. I've always heard Paul's granny music tendencies as his attempt to connect with the frivolous age of his parents, before the gloom and urban decay of war took over sooty England. In a way, it's easy to hear these songs as Paul's primal scream: the harrowing echoes of childhood. The lost promise of the youthful smile in photos of a mother that died when was 14 years old. While John drained his gleets all over the studio floor during his punishing exorcisms on Plastic Ono Band and the "Cold Turkey" single, Paul chose to channel his loss and anger into levity, thrown voices, and bubbling trumpet lines. "My Mummy's Dead" b/w "Daddy Won't Buy Me A Bow Wow." I guess we all have to face our demons on our own terms, Robert.

You’re really listening to the deepest soul of the man. He can’t help it, and it’s beautiful.

Robert Bunter: I really agree with everything you’ve written there, Richard. The reason Paul’s granny material is so vexing is that he was quite evidently capable of crafting extraordinary work in any style of music he put his hand to. C’mon, man! How about another “Penny Lane,” another “Helter Skelter,” another “Blackbird,” another “Maybe I’m Amazed”? Quit ladling out tepid bowls of Uncle Swabson’s Olde-Time Buttercreamed Oaty Meal when we know you’ve got a perfectly divine spiced crown roast of premium-grade top loin there in the kitchen, just waiting to be served! Well, I’m afraid that’s not always how it works. Stop being a pig. He’s provided you with plenty of nourishment over the years, thank you very much. I’d like you to take a little mind-journey with me here, OK? You’re a kid and you’re Paul McCartney’s nephew. He gives you wonderful presents and you love him very much but you don’t get to see him often because he’s still quite busy. A visit with “Uncle Jimmy” (as you call him) is a rare treat. But then there was this one time when you got to spend a whole weekend there. Mum and Pap dropped you off at his Scottish farmhouse for some quality time and it just so happened that his then-wife Heather Mills was away that weekend and none of the other family were visiting. Just you and him. He is charming, doting and attentive. Fixing breakfast, taking a walk by the lamb pasture, watching a little TV. Then, in the cool September evening as the sun is starting to set, he sits down at the piano in the parlour. He’s going to sing you a few songs! Even as a young child, you’re aware that a private musical performance by Paul McCartney is a rare treasure. So what’s he going to play? “C Moon”? The middle part of “A Day In The Life?” “Kreen-Akore?” Get the hell out of here! He’s going to play the simple, beautiful music that lies closest to his heart. “Stardust.” “It’s A Sin To Tell A Lie.” “September In The Rain.” “My Funny Valentine.” He’s going to look you right in the eyes and smile. The two of you have never been closer. With songs like “Honey Pie,” we all have a chance to be that nephew. His name is Bobby. Little Bobby Bunter McCartney. If you want to turn your nose up at that and quarrel about tracklists and guitar solos, that’s fine. Me and Uncle Jimmy …. uh, I mean … hypothetical nephew Bobby McCartney and James Paul McCartney … will be right here in the front parlour. We’re doing just fine.


*Two crucial clunkers in Martin's album sequencing for the band are the brutal side closing covers on Beatles For Sale ("Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey" and "Everybody's Trying To Be My Baby"). However, this was probably due to lack of quality material for the album.

Sie Liebt Dich

The Beatles recorded German language versions of two of their biggest early hits--"She Loves You" and "I Want To Hold Your Hand." It was at once a nice look back to their roots playing dingy rock and roll in Hamburg and a globe-dominating cash grab for German listeners. It's interesting that they didn't duplicate these efforts for larger international markets (Portuguese, Spanish, Mandarin). They would soon discover that their true language--perfect and exciting songs delivered by handsome ambassadors from heaven--was spoken everywhere. The world would later push back against the global revolution provided by these men. Think of Imelda Marcos and her henchmen aggressively revolting against innocent Ringo's disparaging comments about the Philippines or angry rednecks stomping on copies of Meet The Beatles after Lennon's "more popular than Jesus" remarks. 

As a musical offering, "Sie Liebt Dich" is a fascinating document of the band at the peak of their live powers. The Beatles recorded the song from scratch due to the fact that the "She Loves You" master tapes were destroyed after mix down. As a result, Beatles scholars can enthuse at the raw ride cymbal technique and George's razor sharp guitar sound. Our resident experts, Herr Bunter and Herr Furnstein, were appropriately inspired by the exotic tongues of this crucial oddity. 

Robert Bunter: Gibt es ein wort, das nicht mehr schlüssig als "perfekte" wenn es war ich würde es ihn zu beschreiben, beschreiben dieses lied. Es fühlt sich ein wenig heruntergekommen aus, für solche eine herrliche muster auf unsere übliche pompöse bachchans schwafelei - wie eine seltene schmetterling auf der wing tötet es sie heften sie bis zu ein stück sperrholz und einen blog schreiben. Aber ich habe hier einige sachen - schlagring trug die atemberaubende Insekt kurz mit zarten hohlen handflächen vor der freigabe noch einmal zu fliegen ganz einfach und kostenlos. 

Richard Furnstein: "Sie liebt Sie" ist die einfache ihre füße ins wasser moment für die Beatles. Sie wurden ins leben gerufen in dem ganzen dreck aus Liverpool zu liefern das dvangelium von L-O-V-E auf eine sich verändernde welt. Alle, die vor dem war aber "subtle energetic bullshit." Anfang wie "P.S.  I Love You" und "Love Me Do" deutete auf die größe dieser emotion und seine fähigkeit, grundlegend verändern sie ihr Leben. "Sie liebt Sie" ist ganz in der liebe revolution. Zum ersten mal die Beatles zu begreifen scheinen ihre großartigkeit sind sie mit einem grinsen als sie zu fuß über die kohlen wenn man die verängstigten bewohner in den augen. Sie würden wahrscheinlich auf dem wasser laufen wenn nur John würde nicht in die luft sprengen die bedeutung der bewegung weg aus der anteil.

Bewohnen den moment. BLICK. Dann, wenn es vorbei ist, spielen es wieder zurück. Nichts zu danken.

Das thema des songs deuten darauf hin, dass die Beatles kennen sie ihre befugnisse. Sie sind wahnsinnig schön charmanten-reichen und talentierte aber sie sind hier, um zu deinem Freund um zu dienen als matchmakers für die schwachen sterblichen, die leiden in der liebe das grausame spiel. Wo Lennon würde normalerweise auseinander die Frau (Frauen ist als primäre quelle für seine aufgabe aengste und unsicherheiten) behandelt er die weibliche figur in "Sie liebt Sie" mit mitgefühl ("Entschuldigen Sie!").  Sie ist aus ihrem kopf und sie hat darauf vertraut, daß die Band von Superhelden, ihrer liebe. Sie machen ihren job perfekt in "Sie liebt Sie" sagt ihr freund über die frau der liebe und ihn ermutigen, den weg des lichts und der freude. Es ist ein faszinierender weg, erzählen die geschichte der liebe in einer zwei minuten pop song alle die während der Beatles zu scheinen wie bescheidene weisen freunde, die Sie einladen möchten, in das also immer wieder erneut. 

Robert Bunter: Ich möchte, dass sie gehen, um zu hören, was dieser (mono, natürlich), so laut, wie man bekommen kann es gehen. Ich weiß nicht, wenn sie bei der arbeit sind. Wie sie hören, denken sie an die alten schwarz-weiß-videos von kinder schreien, so laut sie nur können und schaukelte hin und her, wie sie durch den heiligen geist besessen. Manchmal müssen wir schritt weg von der gigantischen tier vor uns und ganz einfach, "it ain't my elephant!" Werfen sie ihre gedanken zurück in eine zeit, wenn sie in der lage, das gefühl etwas so rein waren. Bewohnen den moment. BLICK. Dann, wenn es vorbei ist, spielen es wieder zurück. Nichts zu danken. Ich akzeptiere Ihre entschuldigung.

Richard Furnstein: Ja ja ja! Ja ja ja! Unendlichkeit...

Getting Better

Robert Bunter: This song is joyful and infectious, but it doesn’t really fit into the Sgt. Pepper concept. It would have made more sense alongside “Good Day Sunshine” and “Got To Get You Into My Life” on Revolver. Pepper is an extended meditation on show business and identity that slyly upends the backpack full of roles and expectations the Beatles were carrying around by 1967. The album opens by announcing that the Beatles have been replaced by a groovy band of satin-military-suit-clad tuba players who are about to take us on a magic carpet ride around the world (and … elsewhere?) The rest of the album uses jump-cut editing splices to whisk us from a psychedelic boat ride (“Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”) to a soap opera (“She’s Leaving Home”), a circus (“Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite”), an exotic Eastern mystic sermon (“Within You Without You”) and an old-time soft-shoe revue (“When I’m 64”). Sure, you’ve got the John-figure lurking in the background throughout, with his spooky moustache and dead carp eyes slowly leaking bleeding Everyman nightmares into the corner of the frame (“Good Morning Good Morning”) before finally pulling back the curtain on the whole charade (“A Day In The Life”) and leaving the listener’s contextual framework in shreds. But for the most part we are strapped safely into the lurching cart of a hallucinatory funhouse ride. In that context, Paul’s relatively earnest and autobiographical “Getting Better” sticks out like a sore thumb.

Richard Furnstein: You clod. "Getting Better" is central to the Sgt. Pepper concept: a song cycle about the promise of renewal in the Age of Aquarius. The bright and bold sleeve for Sgt. Pepper represented an about face from the pen and ink wanderings of the Revolver color. Lennon suggested that we "listen to the colour of [our] dreams" at the conclusion of Revolver. Sgt. Pepper boldly insisted that everything required a fresh coat of paint ("I'm painting my room in the colourful way.."). Paul's entire Sgt. Pepper concept was about escaping the greyscale images of The Beatles. What better way to do this than to don marching band jackets, pick up shiny brass instruments, and adopt a new, garish monicker (truly only bested by the daft "Colonel Tucker's Medicinal Brew and Compound" concept). "Getting Better" is clearly about self improvement, about wiping the slate clean after past transgressions (domestic abuse, poor academic performance, anti-social tendencies). Suddenly: a new day to change one's scene (or as much as possible: "I'm doing the best that I can"). Paul's message of hope carries through the remaining Sgt. Pepper songs: the scenes include reclaiming happiness in the golden years ("When I'm 64"), reclaiming spirituality in the modern age ("Within You Without You"), coming to terms with the ghosts of childhood ("Strawberry Fields Forever," "Penny Lane," and "Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite"), experimenting with mind expanding drugs (the turned on businessman of "A Day In The Life" and "Good Morning Good Morning") and taking decisive action towards this progress (the lanky teenage rebel in "She's Leaving Home").

Let's tear the whole damned thing down.

Robert Bunter: Hmmm, well I guess you could say that there’s more than one way to look at it. As usual, the extra baggage about the contemporary cultural shifts of the so-called Love generation or “extended meditation[s] on show business and identity” (Bunter, 2014) only becomes obvious in hindsight. That reminds me, an interesting thing happened on March 21, 1967, early into the “Getting Better” sessions. At this point, all the Beatles but Paul had tried LSD. John, George and Paul were in the studio doing some vocal overdubs when John decided to take a pill that he thought was speed. A touch of amphetamine, just the thing to add a little zang to the otherwise tedious process of hanging out in Abbey Road with the most talented and charming humans who ever lived recording an album that represents not only the undisputed peak of their career but one of the highest artistic achievements of the 20th century. Of course, you can guess what happened. He took the wrong pill and started an acid trip right there in the booth. Ringo’s pores became eerily distorted and disproportionate (which later inspired the “Sea of Holes” scene in the Yellow Submarine cartoon). Paul was wearing a strange necklace thing that started to look like paisley sausages. Mal Evans was levitating like a can of beans. Uh-oh. John excused himself from the vocal overdubs. “Sorry lads, I’m not feeling quite right for some reason.” Thus it fell to staid, conservatory-trained producer George Martin to take his young friend up to the Abbey Road rooftop for a bit of fresh air. Pretty soon the others realized what was going on and rushed the hell up there to make sure John didn’t try to swan dive right off the side because on acid you assume that you’ll just gently float to the ground or maybe actually fly. Problem is: you don’t. There’s just a pile of paisley sausages on the iconic Abbey Road crosswalk and a bunch of screaming girls who were hanging around outside the studio and that’s it for the Beatles. The others fetched him back inside and Paul gave him a ride home. When they got there, Paul said to himself, “OK, this is the night for me to try acid for the first time. I’ll take it with John so he doesn’t feel so alone and frightened.” And he did! Paul’s first trip was March 21, 1967. They both talked about it years later in interviews. John: “We got into a heavy thing, staring into each other’s eyes, saying ‘I know, man … I know! I KNOW.’” This is a sweet story to contemplate. They were still young men who’d been through a lot together. Not just the group’s meteoric rise to superstardom, but the loss of a parent. It was not the kind of thing that macho young greasers like John and Paul would ever talk about out loud, but with their inhibitions relaxed by mind-altering drugs, they were able to communicate everything in those three simple words: “I know, man.” If I had a time machine, I would certainly set the dial for March 21, 1967 and lurk outside the sitting-room window at Weybridge so I could witness this tender scene firsthand. I just hope they don’t see me and become frightened.

Richard Furnstein: Don't spook the horse. "Getting Better" also ties in with Peter Blake's elaborate cover art for Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Clubs Band. The photo finds The Beatles posing as a marching band, supported by a cast of entertainers, philosophers, addicts, scientists, gurus, and (most harrowing) their childish 1964 selves. It's as if they are saying, "we are nothing more than we, dear friends." Lewis Carroll begat Aleister Crowley begat William S. Burroughs begat Marilyn Monroe. The Beatles are standing on the shoulders of giants, offering the finest artistic output of humans developed with the greatest sound recording techniques and equipment. You are truly blessed. The Beatles are staring out at you (the pimply, soggy listener) as if to challenge you to make the next move. In front of their feet is a lovely garden/funeral arrangement. A collection of flowers ready to explode in the summer of 1967: aching anthers pulsing with the pollen of new life.

Robert Bunter: Speaking of gardening, that was how the idea for the song originated. Paul was chatting with his groundskeeper -- the gentle and reliable Reginald Peake--and asked “How’s it going?” to which Peake replied, “Well, it’s getting better!” and of course Paul got “THAT LOOK” that he used to get when a song was brewing and ran back inside to the piano to effortlessly immortalize the fleeting remark of a common landscaper. Meanwhile, poor old Peake is still standing outside with his pruning shears, staring at the empty space where Paul used to be before he ran back inside, like “What? What did I say?” Later, Paul gave him a signed copy of the finished LP. It was a first-press mono Parlophone in mint condition with all inserts and OG inner sleeve, but the clueless gardener played it repeatedly on his shoddy common-man portable phonograph causing noticeable wear, audible scuffs and unforgiveable surface noise. For the rest of his days, he derived great joy from hearing the record, especially proud of his “star turn” on Side One and the heavy breathing at the end of “Lovely Rita.” When ol' Reg passed away in 1979 from advanced gout, the album was bequeathed to his daughter who kept it in appalling conditions of humidity and heat, not even bothering to store it in a simple two-bit poly bag. That gorgeous inner sleeve (designed by the Apple-contracted Dutch design team The Fool)? Seams split to hell. It was just stacked up on her dumb shelves in a sloppy pile with all her other stupid records. Her kids used to play with it and busted the damned thing all up.

Richard Furnstein: A harrowing vision, to be sure. Paul had a talent for highlighting the minor victories of the diabetic underclass. The sad, pock-marked visions provided depth to such chestnuts as "Another Day," "Eleanor Rigby," and "London Town." The inspiration behind "Getting Better" is less specific; rather, it seems to represent an entire generation rather than one lonely misfit. In that sense, "Getting Better" is a companion track to "She's Leaving Home," showcasing the larger cultural shifts at play. The key lyric in "Getting Better" is "the teachers who taught me weren't cool." It's certainly a minor offense, but the catalyst for a philosophical and lifestyle shift. "Getting Better" offers a life-and-how-live-it manual for the youth who were leaving their parents in the sad suburbs and embarking into a world of discount barbituates, aimless new age explorations,  and primal/hairy sexual intercourse. The sharp and confident introduction of "Getting Better" announces the new chapter. The treated piano and slack single coil electric guitar bursts open the door into the new world. It's a choose your own adventure moment. How are things getting better for you, love? A hippie collapses onto a diseased bean bag chair in a grimy tenement in The Mission. A pot-bellied, cocksure man opens the door to his bachelor pad, wafting in the freedom of divorced life. A diminutive hippie stares out from between the curtains of her straight black hair: "I won't become a Mrs., ma. I'm going to grad school." A slender, wild-eyed Yogi finally masters the King Pigeon Pose after weeks of careful attention to breathing. A young man finally saved enough money to purchase his dream muscle car and is off to cruise the hamburger stand. Martin Luther King's dream. Stonewall. Let's tear the whole damned thing down.