I'll Get You

Robert Bunter: This is one of those early Beatles songs that perfectly captures the delicious, excruciating excitement of lusty adolescent infatuations. They manage to nail the unstoppable-boner-while-you-stare-at-her-kneecaps-in-algebra-class vibe here much more successfully than similar efforts like "Thank You Girl" or "Please Please Me" (great as those songs are - don't get me wrong, reader!). For my money, the only early Beatles pant-throbbers that top this one are "It Won't Be Long," "I Saw Her Standing There," "All My Loving," "Hold Me Tight," "Any Time At All," and "She Loves You."

Richard Furnstein: You are such an unstoppable boner: do you even realize that you left "Slow Down" off of that list?

Robert Bunter: I was clearly only identifying original compositions. Please try to keep up.

Richard Furnstein: Fair enough! The verse chugs along with the gentle staccato of raw skin against corduroy, the only release is provided by a flush Ringo aggressively paddling an open cymbal. It's all tension and release without a proper resolution. Save that sort of massive payload for a single, this is just a b-side.

Robert Bunter: Woah! Back off, man. This track is noteworthy for a dual Lennon-McCartney lead vocal where they're mostly singing in unison. Also, no lead guitar break. The harmonica was hastily overdubbed at the last minute.

Richard Furnstein: I've always been perplexed by the first verse in this song ("Imagine I'm in love with you..."). It's like a logic problem about adolescent love. I drew a little chart and have determined that A can only love C if B imagines he lives on the fourth floor (as previously stated, B must live on the same floor as C, but A and C can not be in love). It makes a lot more sense when you look at my drawing. Wait, what the hell do these lyrics mean?

Robert Bunter: A politically-incorrect McCartney once remarked, "I [also] liked that slightly faggy way we sang: 'Oh yeah, oh yeah' which was very distinctive, very Beatley." This raises (?) interesting questions about the true nature of the singer's oft-repeated intention to "get you in the end." The ambiguous songwriting origins of this track (some sources say it was mostly bi-curious John in the writer's seat, though McCartney has claimed it was a mutual job) do little to quell the controversy that continues to dog this inflammatory debate.